Sprained

I sprained my ankle last week.  Easter Sunday evening.  Luckily I had pretty much already done everything I had to do for the day (breakfast at church, teach Sunday School, attend service, have people over for dinner, take a nap, go to Menards, do yard work).  I had just put some popcorn in the microwave and we were going to watch some episodes of Big Bang Theory.

I honestly don't know how it happened.  I really have no excuse.  I was standing there, at the pantry.  I stepped back so I could close the door.  I twisted my ankle.  I fell down the stairs.  But I didn't die.  Tim helped me walk to the loveseat, and I couldn't walk anymore that night.  He gave me a piggy back upstairs to go to bed.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I hopped there and I crawled back.  We agreed if I still couldn't walk in the morning I would go to the doctor.  I could sort of walk in the morning, so I didn't go.

I ended up going on Friday because the swelling hadn't gone down, and Nurse Linda said I should just make sure it wasn't broken.  It wasn't.  The swelling probably hadn't gone down because I hadn't been very good about staying off of it and icing it and keeping it wrapped (ice and wraps hurt!).

Its much better now.  The swelling has reduced considerably and it almost looks like a foot again.  Am extremely black and blue foot, but a foot (sorry, that's gross.  at least I didn't post pictures!).  I'm still trying to stay off of it, which is killing me, because the weather is finally nice and I am dying to get out into my garden.  But it still hurts to walk, so I need to not push it.

I know that it's just a sprained ankle and it's not really a big deal, but its amazing how much it's bringing me down.  Having to sit on the couch and not do the things I want to do is a major drag and make me feel pretty worthless.  In my Meyers-Briggs personality profile it says

ISTJs are driven to fulfill their responsibilities and duties, and will do so with tireless effort...They may have difficulty showing warmth, but they frequently feel it in abundance, and most develop the ability to show it through sheer effort.  If nothing else, the ISTJ holds the gold medal of all the personality types for Effort.

I have been able to put forth zero effort this week because of my stupid ankle.  And it doesn't feel very good.  I had trouble getting out of bed this morning, because I thought "what's the point?  I'm just going to go lay on the couch.  Why not just lay in bed?"  SO not me.  Grr.

I know that this is such a light and momentary struggle, but I am amazed at how hard it has been for me.  I can still walk.  I can still drive.  I can essentially do whatever I want, it just depends on how much pain I can endure and how much longer I want to wait for it to get better.

When people ask how I am, I feel like I'm lying if I say I'm fine, but it seems silly to mention my sprained ankle.  Its like saying "Its been a really bad week because I've got this hangnail."  But its more that just the physical pain.  Its just hard.  I don't know how to explain it, but it is just hard to feel useless.

So anyway, that's where I am and that's what's going on in my life.  Its not exciting, but its not awful.  Its just what's up, so I thought I would mention it.

Oh, and thanks for reading my blog.  It makes me really happy and really means a lot to me.  Really.  I love you guys.