How long, O LORD?

A (very) long time ago, I was on the "leadership team" in my youth group back home.  We were having a meeting and we were asked to share what we had been studying daily in God's word.  Many mentioned they were reading Psalms. A youth leader said something like "The psalms are good and all, but it is time for you to become more mature.  Psalms are like milk, and you should challenge yourself to dive into something more meaty, like Romans."

I have come to realize that leader was a bit mistaken.

No disrespect to Romans-- it is a very "meaty" book-- but the psalms are not exactly a warm cup of milk. For years now, I have turned to Psalm 27 when I am fearful, especially when Tim is out of town and I am home alone.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" (v. 1-2)

Throughout the many ups and downs of our adoption journey, I have clung to verse 8:

"My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!'  Your face, LORD, I will seek."

A friend recently pointed me to Psalm 91, a psalm of protection:

"If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even  the LORD, who is my refuge--

then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." 

(v. 9-12)

If that's not meaty, I don't know what is.  I pray it over the children in CAR as they face physical and spiritual warfare.

The point I'm trying to make is this: the psalms are not exactly a soft option.  There is tough stuff in there.

In August our pastor started a sermon series on Psalms of Lament.  As I have been struggling with our adoption process and waiting on the LORD, He has used this as an answer to so many prayers.  Prayers that God would show me His work, reveal His promises, speak to me, be near to me, show Himself to me.

I would strongly encourage you to listen to each and every sermon in this series, particularly if you are going through or have gone through some tough stuff.

August 4
August 11
August 18
August 25
September 8
September 22
(You can find all sermons here.)

We were out of town for the first in the series, so I jumped in with Jaime's sermon on the 11th.  The night before we had met with other families adopting from the same orphanage, and I was feeling not so much like a scab had been picked, but a wound had dehisced.   I'd been shoving my thoughts and feelings on the adoption to the side for most of the summer, and was suddenly face to face with them.  Jaime's words were so timely, and I have been claiming Psalm 126:5 ever since:

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."

I've been sowing a lot of tears lately, but these psalms of lament are exactly what my sore soul needs.

You will notice if you listen through the series that Pastor Bob encourages us to write our own lament.  The outline of a lament is roughly this:

1) Introductory Appeal
2) Complaint/ The Lament
3) Confession of Trust- Confidence
4) Petition to God
5) Shout of Praise

I'm not feeling short on material for lamentation, so I'm going to give this a try...

---
O Lord, my God,
My soul is weary. My mind is weak.  My heart is hurting.
How long must we wait, O Lord, to see this come to pass?
How many tear-soaked pillows and sleepless nights?
How long must our family and our life be "on hold" while we wait on your direction?
I have held my daughter as she cries, missing her "Bister Africa."
I have told her countless times "I don't know when they are coming. We must keep praying."
How long must she wait to see You answer her prayers?
How long must she be an only child?
How long must our African children wait?
How many more times will they be threatened with the trauma they have already lived through once?
How long must we guard our hearts, uncertain of your plan for our family or our future?

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." (1)

LORD, your Word says
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak...those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (2)

I will wait upon You. Yes, LORD, I will wait upon You.
One day You will wipe away all of my tears. (3)
You are with me always.  You are right beside me as I lie awake.
You feel my hurt, pain, and sorrow more than I do!
Therefore I will wait on You.

My life may be on hold for You, but You have put nothing on hold!  You are always working.
Therefore I will wait on You.

You are right beside each of my children, always.  Holding them in their sadness and loneliness.  Watching over them and protecting them.  You love them more than I do, LORD!
Therefore I will wait on You.

You are not slow about keeping Your promise, as some understand slowness. Instead You are patient with us, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (4)
Therefore I will wait on You.

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all-- how will He not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" (5)
Father God, I have seen Your work and felt Your presence at that blessed house on a hill, deep in the heart of Africa. You are there, watching over each child, and working to fulfill Your purposes for them.
Therefore I will wait on You.

I have not seen the completion of your work; I have not seen the end of the story. But this is why I have hope!
"...hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?"(6)
I have faith, because I am not seeing all that You are doing.  For "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (7)
I am certain You are working and You have a plan, although I do not see it!
Therefore I will wait on You.

Father God, I know that You hear my cries.  You see my tears. You know my heart, and You feel my pain.  
You have always been faithful; YOUR LOVINGKINDNESS NEVER ENDS! 
You have reminded me time and time again that You go before me, and You are my rear guard (8).  You were very clear in Your call to us to start down this path, and You have never left our side!  We are in the darkness and the fog, and we don't know which way to turn, so we will cling to Your hand and allow You to guide us through this wilderness one step at a time.

Your love endures forever. (9)
Therefore I will wait on You.
---
1 Lamentations 3:21-26
2 Isaiah 40:29, 31
3 Revelation 21:4
4 2 Peter 3:9
5 Romans 8:31-32
6 Romans 8:24
7 Hebrews 11:1
8 Isaiah 52:12
9 Psalm 136

Do you have a favorite psalm? Please share!  I would also love to read your laments...thanks for being here.