Friendship Week!

Looking back on the last year and a half (ish), I see that one area in which I have really grown is friendships.  I have developed many new friendships, grown several that I already had, and learned a lot about what friendship is and can be.

I want to be clear that this has all been a gift from God, and not anything I have done.  Well, at least not initially.  God forced good people into my life that I can't avoid that have befriended me and taught me so much about friendship.  I am not a very good initiator (or at least I wasn't) so He gave me initiators-- friends who pursued me faithfully and didn't give up on me.  Please realize, I wasn't trying to avoid them, I am just a naturally shy person that tends to be unsure when it comes to new relationships.  Meeting new people is not an exciting thing for me.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and give a shout out to two friends in particular that have helped me.  Other friends: PLEASE know that you have helped me too, and you mean a lot to me.  The beauty of friends is each one brings something different to our lives, and these friends really helped me in the friendship department.

Sapphire

Sapphire has been around way longer than the last year and a half.  When people ask how we became friends, we really don't know how to explain it... we just did.  She came into my life right before Tim started travelling to Saudi Arabia for work, being gone for weeks at a time over a period of several months.  Sapphire almost always initiated our hang-outs.  Like I said, it's not that I didn't want to hang out with her, but she was just the initiator.  We would go on long walks in the evenings, try new recipes, and watch Pushing Daisies, then Glee, now Downton Abbey.  While we have actually done several road trips together, our comfort and ease of being together has come from hours (probably totaling weeks, and even months) of doing ordinary things together.  I'm so glad that Sapphire didn't give up on me, even though she was always the one initiating.  She has in many ways become a third member of our family-- she even has her own color for our family whiteboard calendar.  

Another major thing Sapphire has done to help me grow in the area of friendships is to have me read MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche.

If you are a female and are feeling a friend shortage, or feel disappointed in the friendships you do have, I highly recommend it.  Even if you don't have "friend issues" it is a good read!  Rachel tells her story, but also incorporates a lot of research about friendships and what makes them work.  It can help give you confidence to make new friends, and maybe help you manage your expectations for the friends that you do have.  I read this a year and a half a go, and it really opened my eyes to friendships and how much I need them and how to grow them.

My "Roommate", Mindy

Mindy has also been around much longer than a year and a half.  She started working where I worked in the summer of 2009.  We didn't work very closely together, but I knew that I liked her a lot.  Then in The Great Office Move of 2010, she and I ended up sharing an office.  She worked two days a week, so we would spend 16 hours a week in the same small room.  When you spend that much time together in such close proximity, you have basically two options:

1)Love
2) Hate

Since Mindy's so great it's impossible to hate her, I love her!  She is much more extroverted than I am, and has really helped me learn to relax and break out of my shell.  Mindy is a very confident, positive person, and has helped me realize the power of positive thinking.  I don't know how many times she has said "If  (insert celebrity name) ever met us, they would love us."  She helped me realized that I am likeable!  I need to stop over-analyzing every single relationship and just relax and learn to enjoy people.  Mindy has really helped me to become an initiator.  I don't need to worry if people will like me-- they will! And if they don't...oh well.  I have plenty of other people that do.

What I'm trying to say is this: God has given me the gift of so, (so, so, so) many good friendships, and I have learned so much.  At some point, I started using what I learned, and that has led to more friendships.

This week, we're going to spend the whole week talking about friendships.  Get excited! 

Here's what's on the agenda:

• Tuesday: Lessons from my mom
• Wednesday: Making Friends 101
• Thursday: Real Life: Seasons of Friendship and Boundaries
• Friday: Troubleshooting: Why don't I have friends?

This week is bound to be wordy, but that's ok cause it's cold outside, and we all just want to curl up and read anyway, right?