Adoption FAQ's

I think in my last post I may have overstated my case about being tired of questions, because no one asked me questions!  I do want you to ask just... ask gently, I guess.  That's generally good advice when asking anyone something remotely personal.  Ask if you're really going to listen to their answer. Don't come at it with your own expectations or assumptions, and let them feel what they are feeling, even if it doesn't match your feelings.  I do want to talk about it, because I need to talk about it, because it's a lot to process and I need to get some of it out of my head.

Thanks for listening. :)

on our way to the Central African Republic, March 2018

Let's continue the discussion with some FAQ's...

How much longer will it take?

We have no idea.  It could be a few more months, or it could be a few more years. There have been so few adoptions out of CAR that an "average" time frame would be statistically insignificant, as well as irrelevant, because each case is so different.  Around the holidays one of our friends asked us "Do you think 2019 will be the year that you bring them home?" and our answer was "that would be extremely optimistic."  And neither Tim nor I are overly optimistic.  It will happen when it happens. God's timing is perfect, even if the waiting is hard.

"Why does it take so long?"

Our process specifically has taken a very long time (so far) for many, many reasons.  Things in Africa move on "African time" and things in CAR are not particularly stable.  The US government is in no rush on immigration, our agency has been dealing with the struggles of starting a new adoption program, and we, personally, are not get 'er done kind of people. Each of these components has their own very good reasons for moving at the pace that they do (perhaps with the exception of Tim and I), and the intention behind the delays and caution is really to protect these children.  There are many times I have thought "I wish I would have worked harder to get that turned in sooner" or "maybe I should have pushed harder or called more often or sent more emails to get people moving" or even "does God want me to fight harder/ work harder for this?" But when I read the Bible and I ask the Holy Spirit to help me, what God keeps saying is

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still. " (Exodus 14:14).

Many other adoptive moms I know have very Type A personalities, and are making phone calls, writing emails, knocking on doors, kickin' butt and takin' names.  And I wonder if I should try to be more like that-- fighting for my kid(s).  But the reality is, I hate calling people. I am not a pusher or a do-er. I hate to email people to just check in or see if there are any updates, because I don't usually like it when people do that to me...I assume they have a good reason for not having responded or updated me. And what I keep telling myself (maybe what God is telling me) is that my laid-back nature might be one of my greatest strengths as an adoptive parent.  I don't know...I'm not there yet. But I'm trying to seek the Lord, and ask Him to change me into the best mama for this kid/ these kids.

"Why is adoption so expensive? Don't they want to encourage people to help these kids?"

One of the best responses I have heard to this question is that adoption is a picture of our adoption as God's children, and our adoption was so costly. Ephesian 1:5 says that "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will."  The cost of our adoption was the death of God's own perfect Son, who took the punishment for the sin of the world.  He did this so that we could be "fellow heirs with Christ" (Rom 8:17).  Could there be a greater cost, than the life of the perfect Son of God?  What is a mere $20,000-$50,000 in light of the price of our adoption!?

Another perspective that God has given me is that He uses the task of funding an adoption to show how He provides, and to help families realize their resources and support systems.  Many families do fundraisers to help cover costs, and I'm sure that by doing that, God builds their support system and affirms the call to adoption.  We have done no fundraising yet, but God has still been so faithful to provide abundantly, showing us that He is walking with us through this process.

"They have living relatives? Then why are they at an orphanage?"

For kids to be adopted from CAR, at some point a living family member must give consent.  This happens at different points in different cases, but from what I understand, if a living relative is not involved in the process, it will not happen. So why are kids at an orphanage when they have living relatives?  Although the answer is very complex, it is also simple: their families are unable to care for them.  JHO is actually very selective regarding who they will take in to the orphanage, because the preference is for children to be cared for in homes with families.  To be allowed into the orphanage, circumstances are usually life-or-death.  There is no one who can provide what the child needs to survive. If relinquishment of familial rights is a requirement for kids to enter the orphanage, it makes the decision that much harder for the family caring for the child.  Put yourself in their shoes: you live in a war-torn country that is the hungriest country in the world.  You do not have a job, and survival is a moment-to-moment task.  You are trying your best to care for your child or family member, but you are losing. You are dying and they are dying. There is an opportunity for this child to live in an orphanage with loving staff, 3 meals per day, a roof over their head, the healthcare they need, and more security than you have ever known.  What if you had to agree to never see this child, never be involved in their life, not be able to see them grow up,  just so they could go to this orphanage?  I think that would be a hard decision to make. Thankfully, JHO does not require that, but the US government does if the child is to be adopted.

Does your daughter understand you are adopting?

Very early on in the process, we asked The Peanut if she wanted a brother or a sister, and she promptly replied "Bister!"  We've since been referring to the child or children we are adopting as her Bister, and we pray for them together every single day.

She's starting to wrap her mind around it a little more, and will often pray for her "Sister Africa" (she's decided it's a sister, I guess, not that she really knows the difference between brothers and sisters).  She talks about when "My Africa comes to my house" and generally she seems excited about it.  However, I don't think she really knows what it all means and it will be a big adjustment for her, just like for any 3 (or 4 or 5) year old when they get their first new sibling.  We'll break the news to her that their name is not Africa when we know their name(s).  I've tried explaining that Africa is actually a place, not a person, but...try explaining that to a 3-year-old.  I spend enough time explaining "why?" that I get a little worn out, so sometimes you just roll with it.

How can I help/support/pray for you?

Thank you for asking!  We need all the help and support we can get!  

One of the best ways you can support us right now is to educate yourself about adoption and trauma, and how to care for kids from hard places.  A great resource I have been enjoying is The Adoptive Mom podcast-- so many amazing stories of God working in adoptive families!  But have tissues ready, especially if you start at Season 1 Episode 1.  The conversations Alex has with her guests will begin to give you an idea of the challenges of adopting, dealing with trauma, expectations for adoption and adoptive families.  Lots of great stuff!  Many other resources have been mentioned in the podcast, and as I work through those, I will share the ones I find particularly helpful on the Adoption page of my blog here.

Throughout every step of the process, prayer will be the best way you can support us.  Here are a few specific ways you can pray right now.

-Pray for the birth family of our adopted kid(s).  Our agency is working to obtain relinquishment, which means their birth family signs away all legal familial connection.  This is a hard decision and very complex.  Please pray for peace in their family, and above all, that they would put their hope in Christ, not the next generation of their family.

-Pray for the lawyer in CAR as they work through this process, that they would encounter few obstacles and no corruption.

-Pray for peace in CAR.  This has been an ongoing struggle that has actually been in the news lately. Pray that they would be able to move forward as a united nation, and that all of the children in CAR would experience safety and stability.

-Pray that the US Embassy would work to complete adoptions.  5 families ahead of us in the process are waiting on the US Embassy to complete final (routine) investigations and allow their adopted kiddos to leave the country. Please pray for movement and pray against fear.

-Pray for our family.  The waiting is hard, but we know God is working.  Pray that God would give us eyes to see His work and that He would be preparing us all for what is to come.  Especially as The Peanut is now asking questions, pray that we would help her to process this and that God would guard her heart.

-Pray for the child(ren) we will adopt!  Pray that they would trust the Lord and know Him more each day.  Being adopted will be another crisis for them to navigate, and I pray that they know the Lord and rely on Him through another big life change.


I think those are the big questions we get asked.  Thanks for walking through this with us and for your support and prayers.  I'll try to keep you posted!

thoughts of an adopting mom + a (little) adoption update

Hi Friends.

It's been awhile since I've updated you on our adoption.  The reasons are many...progress has been very slow, and every step completed just leads to more waiting, so even though each milestone is significant, it doesn't feel like it brings us any closer to a completed adoption.  Also, (and this is very much my own "junk") when I do tell people about a completed step, it leads to many questions about what that means, what's next, and how long it will be.  I have a basic understanding of what these things mean, but I don't know answers to questions like "what is next" and "how long will it be."  For the most part I'm ok with not knowing these answers (at least I'm trying to be ok with it), but many other people are NOT ok with not know these answers, and sometimes I can start to absorb their anxiety about it. Additionally, we do know answers to some of these questions, but it is not necessarily our place (or appropriate) to share them with others.

The tricky thing is, it's not that I don't want people to ask about our adoption... I do! I want to have conversations about it!  I just don't know how to balance these things out.  Tim and I are working hard at trusting the Lord and trying to manage our expectations for this adoption, but it often feels like the more challenging thing is to manage other people's expectations for our adoption.

It is very hard to put words to my thoughts and feelings, so for the most part, I just try to not talk about it.  But I'm realizing that's not probably very good for me, so I'm trying to get some of it out here. (Thanks for listening!)

Since we last checked in on this topic, a few things have happened that are "big milestones."  In July we received the final copy of our home study report.  In November, we submitted our report, along with our I-600A form to USCIS (US Customs and Immigration Services).  On January 12, 2019 we were notified that USCIS approved us to adopt internationally.  So where are we now?  Basically, we are waiting on a referral, aka, "a match."  At this time, we feel that God is calling us to adopt a sibling group of two children, but we are trying to be sensitive to His leading, understanding that He may guide us in a different direction.  We do not believe that we will be adopting a "baby," because the youngest child at the orphanage is about 4 years old.  Sometimes people ask me "how are things going with your baby?" or say "I'm praying for your baby" and my initial reaction is confusion and "What baby? Oh, our adoption? Yeah..." That doesn't mean that at some point a baby may come to the orphanage and God may lead us in that direction, but right now, that's not where our brains are.

We have no idea how long it will take to be matched... so far it has been about 1.5 months.  I don't know what happens after that, but what I understand (roughly) is that we will send our dossier to CAR, it will be translated, there will be some court dates (2 seems to be the usual number of court dates), we will file an I-600 form with USCIS, and when that is approved, there are final exit interviews and visas to get before we travel to go bring them home. Each of these steps can take a very long time, and each initial step in our case took way longer than "average" or expected.

God is working through this wait, in CAR, in our kid(s), in people we don't even know or see, and in people surrounding us.  I don't see all that He is doing, but I do see the work He is doing in me, and I am learning many things.  Here are a few of them.

• Adoption is beautiful, but it always starts with trauma.  It is so important that we honor and recognize the biological families that adopted children come from and respect the very hard decisions they had to make.
• Culture is so complicated.  It is also so much a part of who we are, that it is difficult to realize when we are viewing something--especially what we consider "right" and "wrong" through the lens of our own culture.  That's why I'm so grateful that God gives us His Word, and His Spirit is faithful to reveal our hearts and His Truth.
• I am not "saving" this kid/ these kids by adopting them.  They are in a very good, very healthy place.  I'm realizing that most orphanages are not as good as JHO, and I'm so grateful for the staff there and financial supporters of the ministry.  I pray daily for physical and spiritual protection over them and their work.
• My good friend, Kari, recently shared with me from her study of the life of David-- "The wait isn't nothing." God is using it and working in it.  
• The Lord will fight for me.  The Lord will fight on behalf of these orphans.  The battle is not mine.  I need to "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12).  I need to be the persistent widow Christ spoke of in Luke 18.  Luke introduces the story by saying "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up" (Luke 18:1).  There are many times I have wondered whether or not this adoption will actually happen. While it is looking perhaps a little bit more likely, there is still no guarantee that it will come to fruition.  Yes, we feel that God has clearly called us to walk down this path, but I do not believe that He has (yet) promised us it will end with a child.  A friend of mine has experienced several miscarriages, and as she has worked through that with the Lord, He has asked her "What if the outcome of all of this is not another child?  What if it is simply a closer walk with Me?  Is that enough for you?"  Wow. Hard questions.  But what could be better that a closer walk with God?

Thanks for reading this brain barf.  I was going to try to cover some frequently asked questions here as well, but this post is long enough already, so I'll do that in another post soon.  I know I said I get tired of answering questions, but I also said I do still want people to ask!  So, let me know what questions you have, and I will try to cover them in my next post!

I'm also adding an "Adoption" page to the blog that I will slowly add to with the timeline of our process, links to adoption posts, and some resources I've found helpful.  Remember that each adoption story is different, and our process may look completely different from someone else's.

Again, thanks for being here, supporting, encouraging, and walking with us through this process!

This Is 2: lessons from a toddler on living your best life

The opinions expressed below are only those of the two-year-old in question, and do not necessarily reflect those of her parents.

Since it's a new year and everyone's turning over a new leaf (and I'll only be two for a few more days), I wanted to hop on and share my advice for those of you wanting to get more out of life.  Since I'm two, I live life LARGE, with a whole lot of intensity.  So I thought I would be pretty qualified to help you enjoy every single moment of every single day. Here are 10 tips for living full-throttle, every waking moment.

1.) When it comes to fashion, more is more.  Layers are always great, but make sure to pay attention to matching.  Consider my outfit below: the pants and the undershirt have flowers, and the undershirt and top shirt have pink.  So everything matches.  See how this works?

2.) The best way to get from point A to point B is not to walk directly there.  Using unconventional methods is much more fun.  Personally, I prefer a mixture of parkour and dawdling, but hopping is super-fun, too.  Whatever you do, DO NOT RUSH.  Take as much time as possible, stopping point out every airplane, dog, cloud, leaf, crumb, and fire hydrant (is it just me, or have you guys recently noticed there are fire hydrants EVERYWHERE!?)

3.) Exercise regularly.  Some people say 3-5 times per week, but I don't know what a week is, so I do 3-5 times per day.  I move a lot, and I jump on my trampoline, or I dance, or I run back and forth.  If you don't work hard enough to feel a little short of breath, then just pretend by breathing fast for a few seconds so your parents notice you.

4) Help somebody. I love, love LOVE to be busy, and my mom has a lot to do, so I like to help her. 

I like to help Mom bake bread, and I love to help with the dishes.  Here's a bonus tip about dishes Mom just taught me: you can use a sponge to scrub the food off, too!  You don't have to rely completely on soap and water to get them clean!

5.) Stay organized. Personally, I like to keep all of my papers and toys in the living room, dining room, kitchen, breakfast nook, my room, Mom & Dad's room, and the hallway. That way they're contained and I don't have to look all over the house to find what I need.  I like to keep Mom and Dad organized the same way.  Different systems work for different people, though, so just find what works best for you!

6.) There is never a bad time for a selfie, even when you're in the bathroom.  I got Mom in on this one, too.

7.) Find your happy place.  Somewhere that even the thought of going there makes you happy.  Mine are the library and Aldi.  The library is good for so much more than books!  There are toys and computers, and I get to stand on a stool and help check things out--they even have a drinking fountain!  Aldi is great, too, and I love to ride out to the car hiding under all of the grocery bags.

8.) When you get an ouchie, just put a band aid on it and go to bed. 'Nugging someone you love can help you feel bebber, too! In the picture below, I didn't even know how much my ouchie hurt until I saw the band aids.  It would have been a lot of work to take of my jammies and stick them on my knees, so I just skipped a step and put them on my jammie knees...

9.)  You have a voice-- make sure you are heard!  Say it LOUD.  Repeatedly.  Tell people what you need/want/think/see/smell/hear all the time.  If you're not sure they got it, say "Do you understand?" 

10.) Eat your cinnamon roll from the inside out.  You don't know when you will be full (or ready to stop eating for some other reason), so make sure you eat the good stuff first!

Do I like nursing?

As I near the 6 month milestone in my new nursing career, I've been asked a lot (and ask myself, too!)..."Do I like it?"  Do I like nursing as a career? Do I like my job specifically? Do I like working night shift.

To make a long story short: Yes.  Yes. Yes.

But I'm not really one to make a story short when I could go on and on, so if you're interested in The Long Story...read on.

3 months ago my answers would have been "Prooobably." "I'm not sure I'm lovin' it, but I'm interested in working in OB." and "Nights sure beat Days!"  Now I'm feeling much more settled, and a little bit more competent (just a little!), and I'm extremely grateful (most of the time) that God chose to make me a nurse .  Since nothing is ever 100% perfect, and there's always bad with the good (and good with the bad), let's break it down a little.  Here are 5 things I don't like, and 5 things I do like.

5 things I don't like:

1. Working and having a job.  I know that these are both good things, but having that obligation really cramps my style, ya know?  Not to mention it takes a lot of time.  It would be so much nicer to have every day, evening, and weekend off!  But this is what God has called me to do, so here I am.
2. The rest of the world does not operate on a night shift schedule.  Packages are delivered (causing the dogs to bark like crazy) about an hour after I get to sleep.  Important phone calls come in the middle of the day (middle of the night, for me), and I am sometimes forced to choose between sleeping and missing out, or showing up and being a zombie. If I worked days, these things would be a little more clean-cut: I can be there, or I can't be there. I'm working or its my day off.  The lines are a little fuzzier on nights. Also, trainings and meetings are never scheduled at convenient times for night people. But is there every really a convenient time?
3. Dealing with anxious, confused, agitated, or otherwise very needy patients.  Like the ones that have a hefty dose of Lasix ordered for 2100 (why?!) and need assistance to transfer to the commode.  Every. 10. minutes.  I think I find this especially draining (no pun intended) because at home I have a very mommy-dependent toddler that wants to be with me all of the time, and even if she doesn't want to be with me, she requires CONSTANT VIGILANCE (in the words of Mad-Eye Moody).  Its just a lot of being needed, and not much of a break.
4. Calling the doctor.  Because I hate calling people in general (does anybody actually like it?), and because I know I sound like I'm 12 when I'm on the phone (and probably in person, too), and because I'm always afraid they'll ask me something I don't know but I should, and because it usually means the doctor forgot something or I forgot something or the patient has had a change of status. Not good things.  Thankfully, we have some really great docs (especially on nights) and after working with them for awhile you can have an idea of what to expect from them, and what they expect from you.
5. I don't like not being perfect. I hate it that I'm not super-nurse.  I can never get everything done, and if I can, it's not done on time.  I can never give my patients the level of care that I want to.  This is mostly due to the fact that I can only be in one place at one time, and I only have 2 hands and not 4.  And they forgot to give me my magic wand at our pinning ceremony (I really need to follow up on that).  I'm slowly learning to become more efficient and sort out what really does and doesn't matter.  And occasionally I have come home after a shift and thought "maybe I kind of did ok."

5 things I do like:

1. Working and having a job. Yes, the "I want to stay home/I want to work" debate is never. ending. in my head (seriously, it never stops).  But I'm glad I have a reason to get out of the house.  I'm glad to have a break from The Peanut that I love so much, and I'm glad she gets time with her dad without me.  It really helps that the work I do is extremely meaningful and pretty fulfilling. And I'm not complaining about the money that gets deposited into our checking account due to the fact that I work.  The money that allows me to PAY SOMEONE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE.  Yes, you read that right.  I pay someone to clean my house, and it is WORTH IT!!
2. What I love about nights is that there are way less people around.  On days you can walk into the nurses' station at any given moment and there could be 5-15 people in there.  On nights you walk in and chances are good there will be NO ONE in there.  We don't deal with physical therapy, or doctors rounding, there are a lot fewer visitors (don't get be wrong, they are still very much there), and there are no administrators- just a House Supervisor.  The vibe is much more chill on nights.  The lights are out.  Even when it gets busy (which it does!) it is a quiet busy.  I love the night-shift vibe.  And the people that work nights tend to be much more laid-back and easygoing as well.
3. Being there for patients who are anxious, confused, agitated, very sick, or otherwise need a nurse.  I love bedside nursing! I love taking care of people.  I love explaining things to them as much as I am able.  I love helping them when they really need help.  I love talking to them and joking with them, and hearing their stories (they have some GREAT stories, guys), and making them comfortable and fluffing their pillows and getting them pain meds and fresh ice water. And I LOVE giving them warm blankets.  Nursing is the best, guys!  I LOVE it! What a relief...nursing school was quite a hell to go through, and how awful would it be if I didn't like nursing?
4. The team of people that I work with is fantastic.  Since I clearly am not perfect, I rely on others so much.  First of all, the grace of my All-Powerful God has carried me (and my patients) through more that I will ever know.  Secondly, the aides, nurses, supervisors, monitor techs, lab techs, respiratory therapists (love them!) and yes...even the doctors that I work with are all in it together to do what's best for the patients we care for.  We help each other and we support each other.  And we have fun, too!
5. I love that the work I do is meaningful and life-giving.  When the world around me seems to be filled with darkness and dismay, and there is so much that I feel helpless about, I feel like there are maybe some things I can help with.  I can't save the world (but God can!), I can't heal anybody (but God can!), but at least I now have more skills to use to serve the Lord and help hurting people.

So, yes, I like nursing.  Yes, I like my job (I think I'll hold off on moving to OB for now).  And night shift is definitely my jam.

As always, thanks for hanging in there with me.  I know my posting isn't very consistent, but you all read and support me anyway, and I am so thankful!

Summer 2016

Hi Friends!  I'm here with a little update/ check-in while I have a bit of a breather from school.  Here's what's been going on around here.

May

The Peanut got to meet her Aunt Anna, and we all had a fantastic time.   When we picked Anna up at the airport, we decided to go out to breakfast at a French bakery I had been wanting to try.  For those of you who don't know, I always take my coffee black.  No cream, no sugar, no flavorings.  Anna is always posting pictures of her beautiful cappuccinos and lattes and I always look at them and think, "I wish I liked milk in my coffee, because I wish I could enjoy that."  It's one of those things, like chicken sandwiches, that I try occasionally and thing "maybe this will be the time that I like it."  And every time I'm like "Nope."  A friend of mine had recommended the cafe breve at this bakery, so I decided to go out on a limb and try it. You know what?  I LOVED it! With a pain au chocolat? Perfection.

Anna changed places with my parents who came Mother's Day weekend to see Peanut's dedication.We had a small crowd on the stage, but it was a blessing to stand up there with our long-time friends and newer friends, celebrating 4 births and 3 adoptions.  But it's pretty daunting to look ahead and think about the importance of raising our Peanut to know and love the Lord.  When we met with our pastor before hand, he said one of the most helpful things I've heard about parenting. "The Bible simply tells you to teach your children the Truth.  Teach them what the Bible says and Who God is.  God will do the rest. You are not responsible for their salvation, you are only responsible for teaching them."  It was a great perspective, and in a way, a weight off my shoulders.  But also, teaching her God's Truth is overwhelming.  So we will do it one day at a time.  And we have biological and church family that love that little girl like crazy and will pray for us and support us as we raise her up in the way she should go.

June

Sapphire, the Peanut, and I started June by taking a trip out to Colorado to visit Sapphire's new nephew (and her brother and sister-in-law) and also my sister Mandy, her husband Kevan, and their dog Lance.  The drive there and back was, shall we say... intense, with a 4 month old.  She didn't travel quite as well as she did on her Grand Tour.  And Nebraska is a big state.  (Seriously, does it ever end?) But we made it through, and our time in Denver was so relaxing and wonderful.  I was also able to sneak down to Colorado Springs for a day and visit my cousin, Rachel, who I hand't seen in awhile.  On the way back, we stopped for a much needed break to meet my cousin, Kim's, baby girl and see Kim and Chelsea.  Overall it was a good trip, but Sapphire and I agree that next time we should just fly.

I started my ADN program (Associate Degree in Nursing- an RN program) at the end of June.  I was excited to get back to school, ready to study, work hard, and learn stuff.  My first week we learned how to do IV's, and practiced on a fake arm.  It was awesome.

July

By the time we got to July, I was ready for school to be done.  Forever. School was INTENSE.  We called in The Grandmas for help with the Peanut the last two weeks of class, because I also had clinicals, and we were all in pretty bad shape.  I was stressed, Tim was stressed, and the Peanut was Over It.  Thank goodness they came, because I don't even know how we would have made it through.  

The Fourth of July weekend was especially terrible, because for the third year in a row, my job kept us from going to visit family or doing anything that was much fun.  Not that I could have spared a weekend from studying anyway.

After five weeks of class, I had passed, but I was exhausted and sick with a nasty cold.

August

I've been using my 5 week break to rest, relax, and regroup.  I've been trying to catch up with friends before the fall semester hits, yet trying to get as much sleep as my baby girl will allow, which is actually a lot.  We got away for a vacation with Tim's family to a cabin in the woods, which was exactly what I needed.  The Peanut finally got to meet her Aunt Emily as well, so now all aunts and uncles have met this crazy girls. Also, I may or may not have gained a couple of pounds, because we ate so much good food.  

Since we've been home, I've been trying to catch up on some things, and enjoy the Olympics as much as possible.  I actually find that my evenings are more productive when the Olympics are on, because I find all kinds of tasks that I can do while I watch, and there's always the list of "during commercial breaks."

Tim and I have tried to come up with a new game plan for fall semester, because we barely made it through the five weeks of summer class.  We're going to arrange for more childcare, and (thanks to my mom) we have the freezer stocked with food.  I need to start each day remembering that my Strength is in the Lord, not in myself, and that He will carry me through this, since this is what He has called me to do.

Also, for an update on the Peanut, she continues to be awesome.  She's not technically crawling, but she moves around on her tummy to get where she wants to go. She's doing well with solid foods, and continues to sleep 10-12 hours at night.  She could turn nap resistance into an Olympic sport, and when she is awake she is busy, busy, busy.  When she works out the mechanics of crawling, she's really going to keep us on our toes, since she'll be getting around (and into everything) so fast.  And she still loves her Tico.

That's it for now.  Christmas Spirit Days start next month, so get excited.  Has this been a summer of survival or a summer of fun for you?  Are you loving the Olympics as much as I am?

As always, thanks for hanging in there with me.  Maybe someday I will get on a regular posting schedule, but today is not that day.

31 Things I've Learned in 31 Years

Hey Kids!  First, of all, I finally got around to changing the blog title.  Since we're no longer DINKs (dual income, no kids), I had to come up with something else.  Real Life with the Taylors seemed like the obvious choice.

Secondly, I recently turned 31. (I'm cringing as I confess my age.)  I thought I would share with you 31 little tidbits I've picked up throughout my life.  In no particular order, here we go...

1. God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good.
2. If you try to walk three dogs at one time by yourself, you're probably going to end up wearing poop.
   
3. It's not for us to plan our families.  I've seen teenagers striving to be the best parents they can with what they've got.  I know single women who have been called to foster care and adoption.  I know couples that would be great parents that can't have kids.  I know couples that would be great parents that don't want kids.  And I think we all know some people that we don't think should have kids that do...If everything worked out the way it "should" life would be boring, and we wouldn't think we needed God.
4. If someone's in respiratory distress the priority nursing intervention is to place them in High Fowler's position.  That's fancy medical speak for sit them up.
5. You will be amazed at what you can do when you simply have to do it.  It's impressive what you can get through when the only way through is through.
6. It's God who grows things.
   
7. People who love drama say that they hate drama.  
8. Dairy + grains = a complete protein.  Legumes + grains = a complete protein.
9. You can't do it all.  And that's ok.
10. Ravenclaw is my Hogwarts house.
11. Vampires have a compulsion to count.  Related: sometimes Tim laughs like The Count after he counts.
12. Onesies can be pulled down to be removed, they don't have to go back up over the head.  Life.  Changing.
13. It is just as easy to put on a nice shirt and decent pants (or at least jeans) as it is to put on an old t-shirt and yoga pants.  Getting dressed in real clothes feels better and is more motivating that wearing pajamas/ "workout" clothes all day.  (Says the girl wearing yoga pants...)
14. Dancing with the Stars is the best reality show on television!  Related: I love the Argentine tango.  Definitely my favorite dance.
15. Life is short and there are no guarantees.  Treat people like they will die tomorrow.  Live like it's your last day.
16. I am rich. Definitely by worldwide standards, and probably even by American standards.
17. For some reason that I still don't understand, God has put all of the best people in MY life.  I don't understand why, and I don't deserve it, but that is God's grace-filled nature!
18. Calcium constipates.  Magnesium is a laxative.  You're welcome.
19. A lot of the things that drove you crazy about your mom when you were younger, you will thank her for when you are older, if you have the chance.  You might not have the chance, so thank her now and tell her you love her.
    
20. If your deep freeze is making funny noises and you just bought a quarter of beef,check into that situation IMMEDIATELY.  Do NOT say to yourself, "Self, I have five tests in 3 days, I don't have time to worry about a freezer."  Because when you are done with all your tests and think you can relax, you find yourself with a bloody mess, crying as you throw your precious ribeyes into a crock pot.
    
21. Don't gossip.  Just don't.  If you would be embarrassed for them to hear you say it, don't say it.  We all hate that awkward moment when we find out they were just coming down the hall and heard everything.
22. Related: venting never works.  It doesn't make you feel better, it just makes you more frustrated as you focus on your anger and think up EVEN MORE reasons to be angry.  Try this instead: give them the benefit of a doubt.  Also, count your blessings!
23. If you are feeling grumpy and/or angry, drink a big glass of water, eat a healthy snack, and take a nap.  If you're still angry when you wake up, take a walk.  If you're still angry, then maybe you're really angry.  But sometimes hormones can get confusing, so maybe wait 'til those die down, too.
24. My dad knows a lot of stuff. A lot.  Of stuff.
25. When we were babies dad would hold us all during dinner.  He would also talk in a Swedish Chef voice when he changed our diapers.  Which is funny because it's funny, but also because he is 100% Swedish and a really good cook.
26. Sometimes the things you think you believe strongly in you change your mind about.  I used to think it was okay to heat water in the microwave to make a cup of tea.  Tim felt that water must be boiled in a kettle.  I now always use the kettle and he uses the microwave.  My, how people change...
    
27. Generally speaking, when in London, if you are going one stop down on the Tube, it is faster just to walk.  
28. Just when you think you've hit your maximum number of friendships you can maintain, God gives you more friends.  When you think you can't possibly love any more people, He expands your heart and gives you the love to love them.  It's really quite amazing, actually.
29. You have to be doing what you're doing because it's what God has called you to do.  It can't be because of other people.  Your work besties will come and go.  Bosses change.  Your purpose has to be bigger than that.
30. Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone National Park are great places to finish off your list of license plates!
31. Even though I'm a broken, screwed-up mess, God makes something beautiful out of my life.  Christ has saved me!  It doesn't get any better than that.

I'm still alive and Baby's still kickin'

Hi Friends!  It's been over two months since I last checked in, but I wanted to stop by and let you know we're still here.  It feels like life might start to slow down a bit, but then... we're having a baby.  So maybe not.

Here are some updates, if you're interested,

Nursing School

School is winding down!  I just have 45 hours of clinical scheduled (no more classes) before I'm done on December 11th!  Done with the LPN program, that is.  I'm not really letting myself feel like I'm "done" because I still need to take boards, then start the RN program in June.  But the break will be much appreciated!  Two weeks ago it felt like school was trying to kill me, but I've slept some sleep since then, and I'm feeling better about life.

I'm continuing to work as an nurse aide at the hospital, scheduled for 1 or 2 12 hour shifts per week, so that is good experience and reminds me of why I'm doing what I'm doing.  I work with some really great nurses.  Also, I super-appreciate how flexible they are with my school schedule.

In other news, God unexpectedly blessed me with two scholarships!  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

House

Egress window installation

"How's the basement coming?"  Well kids, it's coming!  We removed another wall, and had an egress window installed.  Tim is steadily working on re-arranging/ re-plumbing the maze of various ducts and pipes that are hanging from the joists.

My family, all in one place!

My whole family came a couple of weekends ago, and Dad and Tim took down two dead trees on the west side of our house, while my mom and sisters (and Sapphire) had a lovely baby shower for me.  We now have a lot more firewood...and sunlight streaming through our windows. :)  Thanks, Dad (and everybody else).

We had our hardwood floors refinished as well.  No, we did not do this ourselves!  We're not that crazy.  We're happy with the results, and preparing for the procedure to be done involved a LOT of cleaning, pitching, and re-arranging, that we're still recovering from.

Tico guarding All The Things we stored on the porch while the floors were refinished

Baby

"How are you feeling?" Pregnant.  Most of the time good, but sometimes baby likes to roll over and kick me in the diaphragm, which is not so pleasant.  Tying my shoes is quite a chore, but one I'm still able to accomplish.  

"Are you ready?" HECK NO, Techno!  Is anyone every really ready to have a baby?  But besides that, I have no bags packed for the hospital, no clothes washed for baby, and the nursery hasn't even been started.  Am I stressed about this?  It depends on the moment, but my stress is exacerbated by innocent questions from well-meaning people.  I can tell myself that everything is going to get done and be ok, but when someone asks me "so do you have the nursery all ready" and then gives me That Look when I say "Nope, we haven't even started it yet..." I tend to become filled with self-doubt and feel like I'm a mess that will never have my act together.  Which I am, but I'm ok with that... most of the time.

"Boy" votes won at the baby shower

As I said, I had an adorable baby shower in early November, and I have another one coming up in a couple of weeks, so we do have some baby essentials... they're just all stacked neatly, still in their packaging, in the dining room.

So many baby things...

Dogs

Toby has officially gone to live with Sapphire, and for the most part, things are going well.  We've been to visit him, and he's come to visit us, and we're all happy to see each other when we do.  I think Jynx misses him the most.  It looks like he's going to spend Christmas Eve with us, so that will be nice!

I think Jynx and Tico have figured out that something's going to be happening, and they're not quite sure how they feel about it.  I hope everyone gets along once Baby shows up...

Thanksgiving

Due to my work schedule, we were unable to travel for Thanksgiving, which was kind of a bummer, since we can't travel for Christmas either.  However, we were blessed to be able to celebrate with close friends, and we're still working through the piles of leftovers. It actually wound up being the most relaxing Thanksgiving weekend I can remember.  Since I was going to be working, I allowed myself to just sit and rest the day before and after my shift.  Thanks to leftovers, cooking was unnecessary.  Plus, I was way behind on sleeping, so I let myself sleep when I wanted to.

Other Happenings

Me & Lisa, after our excursion to The Moving Target

At the end of October we got away for a weekend to Chicagoland for Tim's cousin's wedding.  On the way I got to visit with Lisa, which (as always) was a much-needed, therapeutic laugh-fest.  We had a great time visiting with Tim's family as well, who were kind enough to shower us with baby gifts.

Family time! #BTTJDNMA

When we got home, my cousin Ariel and her husband Jan came to visit for a few days. (Remember when Kelly and I went to visit them in Germany?  Yeah, good times.)  They've moved to the states for now, and were finishing up a Grand Tour of the western part of the nation before settling down to real life and adulting.  Their visit was a lot of fun, and a huge blessing.  

Ariel & Jan (when they lived in Germany-- I forgot to get a picture this time around)

So now we just need to get a Christmas tree, do our Christmas shopping, send Christmas gifts, get ready for a baby (how do you even do that?!), and see when Baby decides to show up.  I'll probably do a fair amount of Christmas baking in there, too.

How are you doing?  Are you ready for what's around the corner?  Two years ago, going to England was just around the corner for me.  Last year, nursing school was just around the corner.  Now, parenthood (aka Permanent Life Change) is peeking at me from the new year.  I can't imagine what I'll be anticipating this time next year, but whatever it is, I'm sure it's God's best for me.