weekly meditations: Philippians 4:13

" I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

weekly meditations: Deuteronomy 31:8

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Deuteronomy 31:8

weekly meditations: Psalm 33:20

On July 19, our town was hit by a tornado. Sapphire was at our house to visit for the afternoon.  I got a text from daycare (The Peanut was home with me, but they just send all texts to the whole group).  It said:

"Parents! Children are in a safe shelter location! Please wait till storm warning has passed before coming to pick them up!  Thank you!"

I had heard no sirens and received no other alerts on my phone.  Confused, Sapphire and I checked our weather apps.  Sure enough, there was a tornado warning stating tornadoes had been spotted in the area.  We went to the basement with Peanut and the dogburts to wait for the warning to expire.  We were down there for a half an hour with no so much as a rain drop-- the warning  would expire in 15 minutes.  We were just starting to wonder if the storm would simply go around us, when all of a sudden there was a lot of wind and a pressure change. Sapphire sat on the floor to comfort the dogs, while I held Peanut, wrapped in a blanket. I prayed.

It was over as fast as it had started.  When we emerged from the basement and looked around outside, we looked like we had been hit pretty hard.  In the days that followed (and still, every time I drive to work), I realized the tornado just missed  us.  A block north of us was WAY worse.  Our air conditioner was smashed by a branch, once window on the front porch blew out, and the garage door was blown out as well.  However, our roof was intact and all windows in the house were intact as well.  Our house was very safe and livable.

Reports after the storm revealed there were no lives lost due to the tornado- Praise the Lord!

On the Sunday morning after the tornado, I looked back at my devotional for July 19.  I hadn't read by devotional the day of the tornado, but here are bits of what it said:

"I am your Help and your Shield...You definitely need Me as your Shield.  I protect you from many dangers-- physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Sometimes you're aware of My protective work on your behalf, but I also shield you from perils you never even suspect.  Find comfort in this assurance of My powerful Presence watching over you. Fear no evil, My cherished one, for I am with you." - Jesus Always, July 19 (p. 210)

God's hand was on our town that day, and I know that the Lord has spared us.  I also know that there is so much more I don't understand.  God is reminding me over and over again that His ways are higher than mine, and the picture is so much bigger than the little bit that I can see.

Our weekly meditation is taken from the devotional on the day of the tornado:

"We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield."

Psalm 33:20

I am clinging to my hope in the LORD and His sovereignty, not only as our town rebuilds after the storm, but as our little family continues to wait on our adoption.  We've hit a small snag, and we are praying for guidance and waiting for some answers.  Your prayers would be appreciated!

weekly meditations: Psalm 37:7

"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes." 

Psalm 37:7

weekly meditations: Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

weekly meditations: Psalm 143:8

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

finding rest

It is 6 am on Saturday morning, and I've been awake for an hour an a half.  Since I work night shift, it would make sense if I had trouble falling asleep last night (I didn't), since I woke up at 4:30 pm yesterday.  But why do I wake up so early so often?  And why do I also have trouble falling asleep at night? I didn't get to sleep until after 3:30 am on Wednesday night/ Thursday morning. I often lay in bed, wide awake, trying to convince myself I should switch to day shift, because my sleep is so whacked-out.  I also wonder if all the daylight surrounding the summer solstice is throwing off my sleep, but then why do I sleep best during the day when I get off work?

To be honest, I don't know that my sleep troubles are entirely the product of the lack of a circadian rhythm.  Shortly before my sleep trouble really kicked in, I saw a quote that said something like "I think the reason I lie awake in bed, is because that's the only time I'm quiet enough for God to get my attention."  While I know God can do whatever He pleases to get my attention at anytime, I am grateful that He is using this more gentle approach to urge me to seek Him.

With our adoption in process, being a nurse and a mom and a wife and a sister and a daughter and a friend, adulting in general, and the overall seemingly dark state of the world, there's a lot to lay awake thinking about.  I do my best to pray about it instead of just think, and my friends that are further along in their adoptions get a lot of prayer as the result of this, because they weigh heaviest on my heart when I'm thinking about Africa. However, I desire to meditate on God's Word more, focusing on His truth and not my troubles or circumstances. 

Remember when we used to do weekly meditations?  I think it's time to bring that back.  I'll do my best to post a Bible verse here weekly that we can meditate on, focusing on The Truth instead of the world around us.  Because no matter what is going on around my, my hope is in the Lord!

As frustrating as it is to not sleep when I want to, I try to relax, pray, lean into His Word, and trust that He will give me rest.  He knows what I need better than I do.  On that note, here's our first meditation, one I repeat to myself often when I'm lying awake...

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

To see past weekly meditations, click here.

CAR

Sunday July 9, 2017.  Our little family was back at church, and for the first time in several weeks, Tim and I were both sitting in service together.  We were so happy to be there!  Between traveling and nursery duties, it had been awhile. 

Due to the memorial service for his father that weekend, Pastor Bob was not preaching this week, and had asked a man from our community, Carter Strand, to come and speak.  Carter shared this video:

Afterward Carter spoke about the orphan crisis in Central African Republic, the work of Jonathan's House for Orphans, and some ways that we could get involved if we were interested.  I felt like I was holding on for dear life during most of his talk, thinking "what is happening?!" When we got home, Tim and I sat down to lunch, looked across the table into each other's eyes, and knew/hoped we knew what the other was thinking.

We're adopting.

As surprised as we were, and as much as the timing seemed strange, we both knew without a doubt that this was what God was asking us to do.  Not "someday."  Now.

The topic of adoption has come up casually with us in the past, and we both would say "yeah, someday we'll probably adopt," but I think we assumed we would wait until we felt we were done having biological children before pursuing adoption.  Tim pointed out that we've both heard countless sermons and talks on adoption, but we've never felt so clearly and certainly that God was telling us to do it.  Now.

A couple of weeks later, we met with Carter and spoke with him.  After a few more phone calls and a lot more waiting, we got hooked up with our adoption agency and started their processes in November.  Our first home study visit was in February, and our final home study visit was on Thursday.

 Each adoption story is different and unique, and each country does things differently.  Part of our process involves a trip to the Central African Republic (CAR) to meet the children.  Instead of being matched with an orphan, families adopting from this orphanage are allowed to meet the children and identify who they would like to adopt.  No pressure!  I think it would be so much easier to be matched!

Tim and I made the trip in March.  We traveled "alone" but were assured over and over and over that the Lord went ahead of us, with us, and behind us.  As my new friend, Rachael, prayed over us  "For the LORD will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard." Isaiah 52:12b

The preparations for the trip were overwhelming, but we saw God work in countless ways!  We have so many people loving us, supporting us, praying for us, and cheering for us, and we felt that big time while we were there!  Here are some examples of answered prayers:

• Connections with long-time family friends from CAR that helped us get our visas on time
• Many other mom that are adopting or have adopted from JHO that reached out to me, encouraged me, helped me, and prayed for me, particularly when I would feel most like we were doing this alone or feeling anxious
• Smooth flights with no delays, and no lost luggage
• We connected with our host, Samuel, shortly after arriving at the airport
• We did not have to pay excessive taxes on all of the supplies and gifts that were sent with us to the orphange.  A HUGE answer to prayer!
• Safety!  If you check the FBI travel site, they strongly recommend NOT travelling to CAR.  At all.  The UK says not to venture outside of Bangui, the capital.  We were 3 hours north of the capital in an area that is currently stable, but due to the nature of the rebel attacks in the country, this could change at any time.  Not only did we stay safe from rebels, but also injury and illness.  Praise the Lord!
• We prayed many prayers that the Lord would guide us in our decision to adopt.  Early in our adoption journey I was reading in Isaiah, "Your ears will hear a word behind you, 'this is the way, walk in it' whenever you turn to the right or to the left." (Isaiah 30:21)  This has been our prayer!  That we would be walking with the Lord so we can hear His clear directions in our ears when it is time to go one way or the other.  Very quickly after arriving, we realized we would not be able to-- and it would not be best to-- make a decision about who to adopt while we were there.  We needed to come home and have space from that beautiful place to think about it.  While we wanted to bring all 29 children home, we felt comfortable that we did not make a decision while we were there.
• We were worried that we would be a burden to the staff and not have anything to do and be in the way while we were there.  While we probably were a burden to the staff and were in the way, we did find ways to use our gifts to help in small ways.  Tim did wiring at the clinic that is run by the orphanage so that when they receive a generator or--even better-- solar panels, they can have power.  I was able to work with the doctor, explain some of the medicine and supplies we brought, and see potential for future medical mission trips.

While our purpose in travelling was adoption, we quickly realized that adoption is only part of what God is doing in CAR and in us.  We hope to make many, many trips back to encourage the staff, teach them skills, bring supplies, help the community, and help our adopted child(ren) remain connected with their culture.  We don't know what all of this will look like, and most of it needs to wait until our adoption is finalized, but we know that God will finish the work He has started, and we are only a tiny little part of it.

So where are we right now?  As I said, our last home study visit was on Thursday.  When our home study report is finished and reviewed and approved by all required parties, we will submit our dossier.  That is actually when our adoption process starts.  At this time, in CAR, it is averaging about 1 year from when the dossier is submitted to when the child comes home, if there are no major complications (and there have been families with major complications).  When we submit our dossier and are approved by the US to adopt internationally, we can find out which of the children at the orphanage are officially adoptable, and we hope to make a decision at that time.  Until then, we prefer not to discuss "what types of kids" we are thinking about.  We will announce who we are adopting when we are allowed to.

Thank you to everyone who has prayed and supported us so far.  You have blessed us more that you will ever understand!  The Lord has made His presence known to us in the process so many times, particularly with an encouraging word from a friend-- new or old-- just when we needed it the most.

My words are inadequate to share what God is doing, but Rachael's daughter in CAR said it best...

"Only God knows the end of the story."