finding rest

It is 6 am on Saturday morning, and I've been awake for an hour an a half.  Since I work night shift, it would make sense if I had trouble falling asleep last night (I didn't), since I woke up at 4:30 pm yesterday.  But why do I wake up so early so often?  And why do I also have trouble falling asleep at night? I didn't get to sleep until after 3:30 am on Wednesday night/ Thursday morning. I often lay in bed, wide awake, trying to convince myself I should switch to day shift, because my sleep is so whacked-out.  I also wonder if all the daylight surrounding the summer solstice is throwing off my sleep, but then why do I sleep best during the day when I get off work?

To be honest, I don't know that my sleep troubles are entirely the product of the lack of a circadian rhythm.  Shortly before my sleep trouble really kicked in, I saw a quote that said something like "I think the reason I lie awake in bed, is because that's the only time I'm quiet enough for God to get my attention."  While I know God can do whatever He pleases to get my attention at anytime, I am grateful that He is using this more gentle approach to urge me to seek Him.

With our adoption in process, being a nurse and a mom and a wife and a sister and a daughter and a friend, adulting in general, and the overall seemingly dark state of the world, there's a lot to lay awake thinking about.  I do my best to pray about it instead of just think, and my friends that are further along in their adoptions get a lot of prayer as the result of this, because they weigh heaviest on my heart when I'm thinking about Africa. However, I desire to meditate on God's Word more, focusing on His truth and not my troubles or circumstances. 

Remember when we used to do weekly meditations?  I think it's time to bring that back.  I'll do my best to post a Bible verse here weekly that we can meditate on, focusing on The Truth instead of the world around us.  Because no matter what is going on around my, my hope is in the Lord!

As frustrating as it is to not sleep when I want to, I try to relax, pray, lean into His Word, and trust that He will give me rest.  He knows what I need better than I do.  On that note, here's our first meditation, one I repeat to myself often when I'm lying awake...

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

To see past weekly meditations, click here.