Zwischen and Koselig: Life at This Moment

Hello Friends!  Did you survive the holidays?  We did, but our holidays were pretty quiet, so there wasn't much to survive, so we could just focus on enjoying.  It was nice.  Here's what's going on at the Taylor house.

Last week, Tim's parents and sister came to visit for a couple of days.  Between the frantic house cleaning in the hours before their arrival, and the help they gave us finishing things up and putting things together, a major transition occurred.  In about 48 hours we went from "Stay in there, Baby! We're not ready... you'll be coming home to a disaster" to "Ok, maybe now we're as prepared as we'll ever be for your arrival so...any day now."  Not ready, but prepared.  I also transitioned from working (what seemed like) a lot before Christmas, to hardly working ever, because I keep getting put on call.  This has led to a lot of couch sitting, eating, and book-reading, and maybe just a bit of cabin fever.

 

 

Am I nesting?  Tim and I have differing opinions on this.  I don't feel a "surge of energy" to suddenly clean the entire house top to bottom.  However, all of the down time over the holidays has me feeling a little "I should probably do something active and productive."  Not that that has actually happened.  Tim, on the other hand, came home and said "You ran the dishwasher and you unloaded it today?  You must be nesting!"  I know I'm not the best housekeeper, but I think I deserve a little more credit than that.  Anytime I talk about cleaning anything, he gives me the "are you nesting?" look.  In things that I read written to "new moms," they are always encouraged to prepare themselves that the house won't be clean, and "it's ok to not wash the dishes or run the vacuum...you just need to cuddle your baby."  This is where Tim and I may have a leg up on other new parents...we're used to those things not being done, and it doesn't really bother us!

he says he's not trimming his beard until Baby's here... 

Over a month ago, I read this article when Joy the Baker shared it.  When I read it, I thought "I won't feel that way...I'll still be like 'Wait, Baby! I'm not ready to be a parent!'" But here I am, 40 weeks along, and this is approximately 95% where I am (I'm not weepy, nor do I feel particularly emotional.  More just...pensive?)  Zwieschen--in between-- exactly describes it.  While I'm excited about meeting Baby, I have spent some of this pregnancy grieving the end of "life as we know it."  I've finally come to a place where I realize that change can be (and often is) good, but I also know that it comes with a loss.  It's no longer going to be just Tim and I.  We won't have the freedom we did before.  But in the last couple of weeks, I think I've come to realize that that part of our life is gone already.  Slowly, over the last nine months, "life as we knew it" left us.  Even thought Baby's still inside of me, I feel (and look!) different.  My pregnant state effects the food we eat, the things we do, and the decisions we make.  It hasn't been "Tim and I" for quite awhile now.  And while that makes me kind of sad, there is no going back.  I know that what is coming will be good, too (probably) if not even better.  So I guess I'm getting kind of anxious to get there. 

Having said all of that, I'm 40 weeks along, and I really can't complain.  I'm not that uncomfortable.  Really, this pregnancy has been a dream.  I wish a pregnancy like this on every woman (although I don't recommend being pregnant through nursing school :).  I'm always asked "How are you feeling?" and I never really know how to answer.  "Pregnant" is usually what I say, but I feel that it communicates more discomfort that I am feeling.  Yes, I'm having contractions, but I hardly notice most of them.  Baby's still rehearsing for Dancing With the Stars.  But sometimes I almost forget I'm pregnant until my belly bumps into something, or I try to pick something up off the floor.  I am anxious for labor to start, but mostly because I want it to start on it's own...I really don't want to be induced.

On the other hand, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that this will definitely happen.  With other major life changes, like marriage, buying a house, or starting a new job, there's always that chance that something could fall through at the last minute.  When having a baby, it's definitely going to happen.  One way or another, whether mom and baby survive, the pregnancy will end.  It's just that I've never gone into labor before... that's something that happens to other people. But then I said the same thing about pregnancy, so...

Tim went back to work today, after two weeks of vacation.  I'm trying not to just sit and wait.  My friend, Emily, shared this article on Facebook, and I really loved it.  I love the idea of koselig,, "all the best parts of Christmas without the stress"?  Yes, please!  That is totally in line with the spirit of Christmas Spirit Day! The dogburts and I have been embracing this idea the last couple of days, and I think it will carry us through the next couple of months.  But I like the bigger idea behind the article as well.  These Norwegians don't see winter as a thing to get through, it is something to enjoy.  Can't we apply that to other things in life we view as unpleasant?  A shift at work? A class? A long workout?  The last days of pregnancy? (Dare I say it..) Labor?

koselig..I think they've mastered the concept

I guess that article inspired my New Year's Resolution: enjoy each moment for what it is.  As Jim Elliot said "Wherever you are, be all there."  I want to live fully in these last days before I meet my baby.  I want to enjoy winter and not just get through it.

So that's where I am right now.  I don't want these days to be filed under "waiting," I want to file them under "lived fully."

What's going on with you? Any New Year's Resolutions? Please share!